Dear Diary [1]: On days like these

You know that feeling when you really want to do something? That feeling of excitement which makes your heart pound like crazy for what is to come? That sense of power? Not the ‘I’m going to take over the world’ power, but the ‘I can finally do this’ power? It’s almost like what you want to do is at the end of the road and you’re running with your full strength to reach it. It’s so close, you’re almost there.

Sometimes, however, as you’re running, an obstacle will come out of nowhere and knock you to your feet. These obstacles could range from little tiny pebbles that make you trip to road blocks or gigantic walls from Attack on Titan that won’t let you get to what you were reaching for.

shall-not-passSure, it sucks when pebbles get in your way and make you slip up and trip. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t reach your goal or what you wanted to do. When you trip, all you have to do is get back up. It may take you a bit longer to reach your goal, but you can still get there. Now, what do you do when a giant roadblock is in front of you? How do you get around that? Do you even get around that?

Recently something happened in my life where I really wanted to be a part of something, but all the powers of heaven and earth seemed to be against it. Whenever something like this happens to a friend I usually say “it’s okay, you can still do it!”. But at that moment in time, when I realized “No, you can’t be a part of this” – I felt hopeless. I feel hypocritical of myself because how I feel is the exact opposite of what I preach. This was a once in a lifetime chance (as far as I’m aware of), and I can’t do it again. So what do I do?

I think the only solution left for me on days like these is to have a little cry and move on.

Give me a day and I’m sure I’ll find the lesson out of all of this – but for now, I think I just needed to write my thoughts out on my blog and feel a sense of relief as I write everything out, word by word, on this page.

Thank you for listening.


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